Low Five Gaming

Mario Characters That Aren't Mario | LFTF Ep. 001

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This episode, Luke and Alex kick off a brand-new segment: Low Five Top Five, where they rank their five favorite whatevers in gaming. First up? Top 5 Mario Characters That Aren’t Mario.

It’s a surprisingly heated—and deeply nostalgic—ride through Nintendo’s Mushroom Kingdom. Expect strong opinions, twisted logic, and more than a few honorable mentions (and dishonorable disses). The lists may be Mario-free, but the stakes are high and the takes are hotter than a fire flower. 

This episode is unofficially brought to you in part by crystals. 🔮

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Alex:

Yo, what up? Welcome to another episode of Low Five Gaming. We got a special one for you today. You got me, Alex, and my brother Luke. What up, Luke? Hello, sir. How you doing? That feel radio-y. Does that feel like we're on the radio right there? Was that a good radio introduction?

Luke:

If you want it to be for your ego, yes. But I don't feel like you're not shock jockey or zany enough for the radio. So what about like late night radio? You know, like some like it's like college radio. You're you're a sophomore. Do you have some seasoning to go? That's kind of the vibe. We've been doing this for like three years. I'm not seasoned enough. I mean, for podcasts, sure, but our intros are always hella awkward. Behind the scenes, we've often had to do it like three times, and it's it's odd.

Alex:

Well, we're not redoing this one, and it's not your typical episode either. This is our inaugural low five top five. How about low five sickles?

Luke:

Like testicles but low fives. Because it's a list.

Alex:

Uh like it. I'm like low five top five. I'm the marketing media. And that's what we're doing. Low five top five. LFTF. Lo fives, low five, top fives. Lo fives top guys. Nope. Ruined it.

Luke:

Made it all fucking corporate and shit.

Alex:

Oh man. Yeah, but dude, but this is I'm excited, man. I'm excited. We uh we'll get into uh we'll still do our our side questing a little later on, talk about the games we've been playing and whatnot. But the uh the main, the beefy part of the episode, the main, the main event is a low five top five, and our subject is the top five Mario characters that aren't Mario.

Luke:

Which kind of made me laugh because Mario's kind of a boring boner, so like it's just all the top five characters. Like Mario would not have cracked my top five.

Alex:

So fair enough. But I'm on I'm gonna make a couple of extra rules to this, though, dude. So it is a list, it's your top five, so it's like it's it's whatever, dude. It's like you're it's subjective, it's your opinion, that's fine. Your opinions aren't always great, so it's whatever, but that's what it is. We'll get to that when we get to that. But uh, you know, like you have to have a little backing, and here's the deal the rules are this no Mario, no variations of Mario. So, like if you have I don't know, Tanuk Mario. Yeah, I love Tanuk Mario. He's dope, but he's not he's not eligible. Sure. Right on. Uh, and that goes for any variants of um the other characters as well.

Luke:

How do you feel about Donkey Kong? Uh I may talk about Donkey Kong a little bit. I just mean, is he so much of his own thing that he in his extended universe will be treated as such, or are you compute com putting them within the Mario Canon? Because um I'm what understood how you feel about that.

Alex:

Uh he he would be Donkey Kong and his crew would be included within the Mario Canon.

Luke:

Okay. I guess he was in the first game. Um I'm gonna go ahead and say Diddy Kong is off the table. Not it. So just Donkey Kong. Did he play? Did he send? Is Diddy Kong in a Mario game?

Alex:

He's in a Donkey Kong game. Correct. But Donkey Kong spurs from Mario, so I'm gonna allow it. Fine. Cranky Kong number one. Get this fucking thing over with then. Word. Uh I think that is the I think that's the only real rules. Alright. Uh no Mario's in special suits.

Luke:

No criteria for how you came up with your list. What is your what's your criterion, sir?

Alex:

What's your rules? We can kind of get into the reasoning when we when we make our picks or when we list off our lists, but um No, I want to talk about it right now, dude. Fuck off. Fair enough. Well, I have a like a beefy, like I have a beefy uh preamble selection? I have a beefy like honorable mention list that I'll get we can get into like before we top our our number ones, maybe. I also wanted to go one to five.

Luke:

How do you feel about that?

Alex:

Just start with the best and then go. Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. Silly about that?

Luke:

I don't know. Not a chance. Not a chance. Let me get the the intense feelings out of the way and then I'll just pick the goofy ones.

Alex:

No, we'll we'll go five five up. Um then we'll start with uh we'll do a little coin flip to see who starts first. How about that? Are we not allowed to pick each other's people? No, we can, but you know, it's just kind of for the flow of it and know. Why don't you why don't you start us off our inaugural low five top five list?

Luke:

First of all, I want to get through my criteria because since I went first, I can go through all my criteria first. And I'm just just spread out, dude. I'm gonna take like 20 minutes here. Alright, man. So when I'm thinking about this, uh first off, let's just be real. These are mascots, these are Disney. I'm gonna go straight up with cuteness. Um, we got we really gotta grant in cuteness. Now, cuteness is a range, right? I mean, there's the obvious like Yoshi, but then there's like, you know, Wario with his portly self and his sick mustache. That's cute in a different way. Kind of like an evil maniacal cute, but cute.

Alex:

Great golf outfit too, bro.

Luke:

Huh?

Alex:

Great golf outfit as well.

Luke:

Yeah, go Vikings, just generally purple gold, what a bro. Um, second off is funniness. Um, and that seems pretty obvious, but as you'll get into uh in our lists, I'm sure, uh, Mario as the game has progressed. I mean, even from the beginning, they have a lot of quips. Not always the most voice acting outside of just goofy noises, but uh does this character make me laugh? Which goes back to Mario, boner, not cool, not a good hang, not good with the quips. Alright, dude. He's he's just like there. Whereas all of the people add all of the flavor to his universe. With Chris Pratt being the exception. I actually don't mind him as Mario, but I digress. And then the third and perhaps the most important factor is um standalone game. Do you have a universe outside of your own? Do you have your own signature titles or at least like standout moments in games, big games? And then I guess like a little bit of a bonus that carries somewhat a weight is uh how are you in Mario Kart, Smash Bros. Mario Golf, the extended Mario Olympic universe? Like, are you someone I would pick? Is that all settling well with you?

Alex:

I like that. That was good. Good job. Um thank you.

Luke:

I'm glad you put that into this. Yeah, no, I mean I really lost some sleep over this last few days. I mean, it's really important. That being said, um, I want to troll you and say it's Funky Kong, because I think grumpy old men are hilarious by nature, but that doesn't meet all of my criteria. Uh it's gonna be Donkey Kong at five. DK at five? DK at five. Um I know you have somehow just so many uh honorable mentions. Uh but if I had to with list one, if we were to say Donkey Kong is not included, that was my Yoshi slot. So shouts out to people. Um actually don't give your honorable mentions because that ruins some of the uh the mystique as to who you're gonna pick. So maybe you gotta get to those after, dude.

Alex:

Honorable mentions we can either throw in before we do our number one or after we do our number one.

Luke:

Ah, alright, alright, alright. Before. So I'll leave that there. We can leave all the messinesses. You know how this beautiful sausage was made. Uh DK, hilarious dude, just wearing a tie, his nuts just hanging out after just wearing a tie. That's hilarious. That's pretty good. In different outfits, he's great. I'm gonna cheat and include that he's just got like a cool, like, whole family and vibe. You got Funky Kong, who's definitely selling dope and just surfboarding on things. That's fucking cool. You're smashing crocodiles and just doing a whole lot of gang shit as Donkey Kong, so he's cool. I like Donkey Kong games. And Donkey Kong was great in the movie. Seth Rogan, excellent Donkey Kong. I mean, what else can I say? The OG villain turned hero, turned hero of his own thing, and hasn't been a villain really in forever. So excellent in Smash Bros, just womping dudes in the face. Always. Not much for Mario Kart, but I like also my last yeah, I don't usually play as heavies, but in Mario Golf, I like that he just swings with one hand. That's hilarious. So uh first selection, Donkey Kong. What do you got for number five?

Alex:

I'm surprised you had him so low. I think Donkey Kong is a great pick. Good job. Yeah, thank you.

Luke:

Thank you.

Alex:

It is. You said uh you weren't gonna troll me. I'm gonna semi troll you and tell you my number five is Luigi. What a dick.

Luke:

What?

Alex:

And Luigi's Luigi's great, dude, but like, you know, he's number five. That's good, man. Out of all there's like 300 Mario characters.

Luke:

Yeah, but it's four main ones, you piece of shit. This is just like he's number five. He's not even in a fork. Just overshadowed by his handsome younger brother, and you're the portly short one, even though that doesn't make sense because you're taller than me. But in spirit, you're my portly short older brother. But fine. They're twins, by the way.

Alex:

Portly short, dude. I'm 6'6.

Luke:

You're like 6'4 for like 30 years of your life, and then all of a sudden you're like, you know, I should add another inch to be extra cool. So keep the keep growing. It's whatever. Not where it matters. Continue.

Alex:

Oh, ow.

Luke:

I'm sorry. I'm just a little offended about Luigi.

Alex:

Luigi's my five, dude. That's pretty good. Pretty good. Like I said, the 300 Mario characters, he's up there at number five. But here's the deal. I have like Luigi. You've claimed Luigi. And I'm a I'm a good big brother, so I've I've given you Luigi.

Luke:

Uh and a shitty older brother who's never been second person, second place, second controller. So like you've never played as Luigi. You've always fought.

Alex:

Here's the deal though, dude. Luigi, I used to have so much. I still have Luigi love, but like Luigi was my guy because we didn't get you were. I mean, I'm I'm older than you are, obviously, but uh we didn't so like you were how old would you say? Let's see, when we got the 64 is probably the first system that like makes sense. So that would have been how old were you when we got the 64? If I was like probably 12-ish, that would make me six. Six. So so dude, like, so yeah, your whole life you've been playing Luigi. But here's the deal like when I've from my six all the way to 12 for six years, my very foundational like go over to homies' houses, play the games. I was always Luigi because that's just how it goes. Just about Luigi. Big, big, well, yeah, of course. I'm like, bro. Okay, and I got I do got the years on you. Obviously, the gaming landscape has leveled off. Maybe you've maybe you've surpassed my abilities, except for in 2K, which we may talk about later. But yeah, dude, so like I mean, I I mean, like Luigi got a special spot in my heart, dude, because it took a long time to uh to crack the video games into the household. So like Luigi was my guy. Like, if I was uh I was picking like the the you know, whoever's household we were at, they'd always go with Mario. So I go Luigi. Luigi's got some cool energy, man. He's basically a Mario clone in the early games, but it's green, green, cool ass color. Green was my favorite color for a long time. Tall jump, quiggly legs.

Luke:

That's funny.

Alex:

Mario 2, Super Mario 2, uh for the Nintendo. Luigi does that fucking like floaty jump thing.

Luke:

Everybody knows you can jump higher if you continue to kick your legs.

Alex:

I guess it's in yeah, dude. I guess that's in Smash as well for the folks that like aren't out of here playing this. But yeah, dude, Luigi is a solid one. I will say that like the reason that he bumped down to five, he kind of like I don't know, man. Like like Luigi got cool Luigi energy, but like his game's proper. Like, why is he such a wimp? You're out of control, dude. Like Luigi Manchester stuff, why is he so scared? Why being such a little why is he be doing such little scary pants? The hero, dude. He I know he's the hero, but he'll scared accidental hero.

Luke:

Not accidental, he perseveres. Okay, okay, that's your opinion. You're allowed. Number five, Luigi. Yep, okay. Um, I don't know if you're gonna be at number four, Peach. Um, because I'm a feminist. Um you know, probably could have had her below Donkey Kong. They're pretty similar. You get the pink in there, dude. You get the floaty dress deal where um kind of helps you uh when you're not feeling grinding real hard in the various games she's in. Uh Super Smash Bros. She's actually like nasty, like real good. Uh she's got her own cart too. Haven't played it. What's up? She's good in Kart too. Yeah, and Mario Golf, she's always like super accurate. I forgot Mario Tennis. She's actually pretty nasty in Mario Tennis. I'm a big fan of her, Mario Tennis. Yeah, dude. Peace brings good uh good shit. Uh cuteness, like for sure. Like little, you know, Princess Vibe. The wife always plays with her uh when we play games like Mario Party. So pretty solid there. Uh funniness, all of the personality came from the movie, to be frank. Um, and then there's some sassy quips here and there in the different games. But definitely they made her uh Anadroy Taylor, is it? I believe so. Um they made her a pretty big badass. The movie definitely uh boosted the coolness. I can't once again say for the own game, but in the extended Mario universe of games, she's usually a threat to deal with, so fuck with it. I can dig it, dude.

Alex:

Yeah. I will say that uh I mean her her character arc, I've I feel like it's gotten better over time. I feel like the princess in distress, like you know, that they've they finally finally slowly made their way past that a bit. It still happens, it's still a trope. But um she kind of holds her own. And I may talk a little bit more about that, about that later. We'll see. But that's a small one. Let me see. So that's you got you got Peach at four. My number four is my man Wario. Nice.

Luke:

Mm-hmm.

Alex:

Wario's a great character, great enemy.

Luke:

Feel kind of bad.

Alex:

You like his weird games, I bet, huh? I sure do, dude. So that's a that's a true reason why he cracked his list. Uh shouts out to Waluigi, but Waluigi just doesn't have his own game, man. He's just in there to be Wario's like doubles partner. You know? Yeah. Bless the internet. I know the internet, and I'd like Waluigi too, but like when it comes down to it, I just couldn't make him crack the list. He doesn't got enough going on. And Wario does, dude. Wario's like, he's a good bad guy. He's got his own games, so you get to like what would that even be? What is that? You're are you an antagonist? He's like the protagonist of the Wario games because you're playing as him. Just out there trying to collect his coin, respect. Trying to take over castles, respect.

Luke:

Got a sweet Eagle Guy mustache.

Alex:

Dude, he does the charge thing. He's got like he got the power up where he gets the horns. Like, dude, lots of cool jokes on a motorcycle? Dude, for real. I will say, you ever play any of the WarioWare games?

Luke:

No, I never had like a DS or a 3DS or they got them on the Switch now. Two of them. Yeah. $60 mini-game games. 100%, dude. They uh people love them. People love them.

Alex:

They like for the the Game Boy Advance, the DS, all that kind of stuff. I had it, but it's I did I did scoop the the Switch, one of the Switch ones for cheap on a sale or whatever. But that's just the thing is like people do love it, like the MarioWare stuff so much, and like you know, respect. I think they're okay. Like, I've I've never like burned a whole bunch of time. It is kind of like Mario Party. Like, I feel like it's the I don't know, man. It's just like at least in my household, he doesn't have the right vibe to be like, hey, let's play WarioWare. Like, if we're gonna play, if I'm gonna play a game with the wifey, it's like we'll probably play Mario Party or or a cart or something like that. Warioware for whatever reason, not as intriguing. It's kind of like the mini games of Mario Party on crack.

Luke:

They're just like little minute-long, yeah, like crazy little deals.

Alex:

It's almost like it's a genre of its own, really. Indeed. But I respect it, dude. I respect Mario, and he's my number four. I said it earlier when you mentioned him, dude. He's got uh are waiting. Was it yeah, you mentioned Mario about the his we were talking about his his golf outfit, pretty solid.

Luke:

Yeah, I mean he's a fat, goofy dude with a super evil awesome mustache who farts and rides a bitch in motorcycle. I mean, it's kind of hard to beat that overall. I forgot about the motorcycle, motorcycle dope too. Yeah, he's kind of his games come through in his Smash Bros. persona too. So like his gameplay is like kind of chaotic, if you ask me, in like a cool way.

Alex:

He's another heavy dude. I love playing with heavies. I'll I'll I'll mess with I mean almost all the time. Smash, I'm gonna play with a heavy Wario's one of my guys. Uh I like DK, I like Bowser. Those are all good Smash players for me. Plus just like a good wr. Like who doesn't like a good wow? So for sure. And uh, I don't think I don't know if we've ever had like a proper, like he's supposed to be aside from Smash, and then obviously like your tennis and all the sports stuff, like he's clearly like the yin and the yang to to Mario. Like, I mean it's an up, it's an upside down. With bizarre Mario for sure. I feel like it's low-hanging fruit. Like they have they ever faced off in a platformer in like a true, like in a true like Mario versus Mario. Oh yeah, six coins, that's right.

Luke:

But he's like the main antagonist. Like you fuck up his castle and you go free. I love that game.

Alex:

That's like your game, dude.

Luke:

Fuck.

Alex:

He's tough. That's probably another reason why he's up on number four, bro. There you go. Yeah, hell yeah. All right, what do you got for three? King Bowser, dude.

Luke:

Bowser. Nice. Pretty pretty easy argument to make him tops. They have made him super cool over the year. Casting Jack Black as him was like an instant, like, all that's super fun. Uh, peaches. Tons of fun. I was Bowser for Halloween this year. That was tight, dude. Totally matters. Forgot that blind ranking item, but that matters, dude. I also love that he is a father to a little shithead kid. Multiple kids, apparently. Oh, really? I thought Bowser Jr. was just his kid, but everybody's his.

Alex:

Well, I thought I thought the other Koopa deals like all the other little couplings or whatever they're called.

Luke:

Might have to look into that. But Bowser Jr.

Alex:

I think Bowser's spreading his seed, bro. I think he's out there. Hell yeah. Uh Anthony Edwards up in this bitch. Oh, Jesus.

Luke:

Uh but yes, um, my favorite is in the newest paper Mario game, there was just like some jokes about Bowser being like about being a dad and shit, and it just geeked me the fuck out. And it was just really funny, like making fun of his kid with like I don't know, he's just making fun of Bowser Jr. in some pretty hilarious ways. So uh he's got a cool look to him. Uh it's a different type of cute. Uh my children say Bowser instead of Bowser, and that's fucking adorable. Shooting fireballs, dude, formidable enemy. Always been really cool boss fights with Bowser. A so long, gay Bowser. Iconic. Gay Bowser is a king, obviously. So um, did I miss anything about Bowser other than just being like a super cool design? Hilarious. I guess he hasn't had his own game, but you have been able to play as him, like in Mario RPGs. Is that correct? I think so, yeah. Has he ever been a playable character? So that's what I'm saying. I've never played all the way through a Mario RPG. Yeah. And like in Paper Mario, he's freaking hilarious. Just love. They've just really like put a lot of put a lot of growth into like comedic. Like, he's not much of like a big scary enemy for the most part in games. He's mostly just like this big bumbling goof, and I I love all that. So yeah, for Bowser.

Alex:

You know I love Bowser. Yeah, Bowsi. I like it. I like it, dude. So that was number three. You got DK Peach Bowser. I've got Luigi Wario. My number three, DK. Donkey Kong.

Luke:

How did I not mention the rap when giving him his proper time? I guess we had to leave some meat on the bone, but that raps iconically.

Alex:

Dude, for sure. I mean, DK, I thought about it. I was like, maybe I do funky con because he's cool, right? Like this airport guy does probably does drugs, like whatever. Definitely is selling them, dude, in that shack.

Luke:

Are you fucking kidding me, dude?

Alex:

But then I was like, but then I was like, I don't know, though. Like he kind of just lives in that space and like fermented banana, at least, man. For sure, dude. But DK, like, I like if you look at it, dude. I love his story arc. I love that he like he's out here pulling a bowser, stealing peach, throwing a bunch of barrels and fireballs and shit at Mario while he tries to go safe peach. Like, that was that was the original game, right? So Donkey Kong, you got Mario going to Safe Peach from DK. He's a baddie. And then over time, they introduce him into the Mario world via Donkey Kong, like Donkey Kong Country or whatever.

Luke:

Gets to shoot peanut guns. So yeah, that's funny.

Alex:

Rail card line. Diddy didn't make my list. Spoiler for my for my honorable mentions, but like Diddy's cool too. And I think like as a as a kid, like I definitely love Diddy more, but it's that it's that evolution that I was leaning on earlier. Did you play Diddy Kong Racing? Maybe that would have affected it. Isn't that supposed to be really good? People love Diddy Kong Racing. I've always just been kind of a kart guy because I didn't I've never owned Diddy Kong Racing, and like neither did my homies. We all just played Mario Kart. People that had Diddy Kong Racing stand by it and love it so much. But uh, but yeah, no, like Diddy was like it was to two-player thing, man. So, like again, when I was playing Donkey Kong at homies houses, you pick up the second controller, you can control Diddy, I think. So that was one of the reasons why I was like, Diddy be cool, but like I started to think about it, and over time, like more just DK for me, dude. He's got like that that from a bad guy to a good guy. I'm I'm here for the Seth Rogan interpretation of of DK. Like, uh, I'm you know, even the whole like um little refresh of the visual look too. I like it. I like it, I like his character, I think it's fun, iconic soundtrack. Iconic soundtrack. I tell you what, dude, if you're playing I'll fuck with DK in cart, I'll fuck with DK in any of the sports games, uh Smash for sure. He's uh like a semi-mane of mine. Pretty much all the heavies I mess with, except for uh bad guy, the big uh crocodile dude. King K. Rule. I love King K. Yeah, K Rule. He's cool, but like I I'm not really great that at his moveset, but uh but he's funny.

Luke:

He was my main in that game.

Alex:

Nice, that's hilarious. Yeah, yeah, but DK, man, and DK also, how many ridiculous cool peripherals they made for him via the like GameCube Wii era? Dude, he's got bongo drums. That's dumb. I guess at the end of the day, though, um, he's just a monkey. I'm alright with that. Monkeys no, yeah, but like how many podcasters take on one DK? 100 podcasters, one DK?

Luke:

Definitely gonna take more. Uh with the barrels he's throwing, dude. Just think of how many he could snipe out before he even got close. So probably at least 200. He's just a monkey in a world full of dinosaurs, dinosaurs and walking mushrooms. So gotta peg him down a few, dude.

Alex:

I like how he's like kind of like uh like a rebellious little angsty badass in in the movie as well. Kind of a whiny hoe at the same time. Yeah, it kind of just works for me.

Luke:

Yeah, I like his little arc when there's some clear romantic tension between Mario and Peach, and he's just a tool about it. Love that. Great, great timing. So that's my number three, man. Alright, here's the spiciest one of I think both of our lists, dude. My number two. You want to guess it?

Alex:

Uh, let's see, you got DK Peach, Bowser Toad. Dick. Captain Toad.

Luke:

Aha. Fucking love Captain Toad, Treasure Tracker. I have such a weird, irrational love for that fucking game. Uh Captain Toad, all the variations of Toads. Uh, they hit the cuteness for sure. They hit the funniness way harder than you'd think. Hilarious little quips out of Toads going back forever. Uh, Captain Toad, what an adorable little outfit. What the fuck? That's awesome. Just an adventurous little channel. Yeah, dude, whatever it is, it's just tight. Um, I love that game. I adore that game. I love I'm gonna blank on it because I'm on a mic, but if it's is it 3D Land or one of the games is where they introduce that. The little toad sections are not like a shitty little break from the action. They're like a tight little treat. So uh super underrated. I guess you have to say that you don't get to play as toad in a lot of games, and when they do, it's just bass toad or toadette, and they're not the most exciting, but they're usually fast, so it's kind of a fun, light gameplay. So that's tight. Massively underrated Toad Treasure Tracker. What a just a delightful little game. Probably the game I've spent the least amount of time in that I've thought the most about. That's a weird distinction.

Alex:

It's a cool game for sure. And Toad is uh a great character, Captain Toad specifically. Great little character. Yeah. So would you consider Captain Toad to be the one on the cart in Mario Kart or just Toad, or are you gonna kind of call them both? I mean, if you go back to my rules, dude, I was I was saying that like the the outfit sets don't change the character. So like I'm gonna consider a Captain Toad.

Luke:

Yeah, but sometimes Toad is like a main character. So Captain Toad is his own thing, so you can't really count on it in the code.

Alex:

Isn't Captain Coad isn't Captain Coat? Isn't Captain Toad just like the toad though? It's a toad. Isn't it the toad? Like the coolest one.

Luke:

The coolest one, yes, but like the toad from like 64? Probably not, no.

Alex:

So we're specifically talking about uh Captain Toad has an appearance in Treasure Tracker. Captain Toad's game is Treasure Tracker.

Luke:

Okay, cool. And then he's in I want to say he's in Odyssey. You run into him and you find him in like weird ass places, and he's like, Whoa, here's the moon you were looking for. I found it over here. So like he is his own, he's not an outfit, he is a character, Captain Toad. I guess also Toad Ed. Whatever, fine. I don't know how the hair works that she gets pigtails of mushrooms, but I guess that's for scientists to tell us. Indeed. You weren't supposed to guess Toad. God, I guess I have such an obvious heart on for Toad, dude. Damn.

Alex:

Ah, so that was your number two. My number two, my boy Yoshi.

Luke:

Species or the Yoshi?

Alex:

Uh a little bit of both, I guess. I mean, the Yoshi is what I'm going with, but like, you know, red Yoshi, yellow Yoshi, whatever Yoshi, they're all tight, but Yoshi, Yoshi, I don't know. All the Yoshi.

Luke:

Not a lot of personality there, so very strong on the cuteness. Um like the uh the own games. Do you like those though? Yeah. Uh what are you doing? The aesthetic is super cool. The crafted world, the woolly one.

Alex:

Yeah, so like uh I've got crafted world, I've played that quite a bit. It's like uh pretty like it's an easier platformer for sure, but it's like I like that low barrier entry. I love that it's like I mean, if that is the type of game that like I'm super stoked to eventually play with my son when he's a little bit older, you know, that kind of deal. Like kind of get him into the platform and give us like a really good two-player, like Nintendo got it down on like the marijuana of video games, dude, like the entry drug. Sure. Uh but Yoshi, dude, but also like he just like elevated. So, like, I think what really so Yoshi, there's a few reasons, uh, but I think what really elevates Yoshi for me is not his standalone games like Yoshi Cookie and stuff, it's okay, like for um Nintendo and Game Boy, that kind of stuff. Uh, there's some really cool Yoshi games for the Game Boy Advance. I want to say it's like Super Mario Advanced 4 is like a Yoshi thing or something. Uh that one's solid. And then Super Mario World, when you actually get to like that's like I feel like even though Yoshi was introduced earlier via some of the things I just mentioned, like Super Mario World, where you get to you get the free the Yoshis, ride the Yoshis, spit fire, fly, all that stuff. It's such like an awesome like power-up companion to Mario.

Luke:

It's like a mech in a Mario game, but it's Yoshi.

Alex:

Totally.

Luke:

Yeah.

Alex:

I can dig it, dude. And Yoshi, like pretty solid in all those spin-offs and in all the sports games. Like, you know, he's a mid like middle, like middleweight, so well balanced. I would say I like to play him with him in golf. Uh, I'll I'll use him in cart from time to time for sure. Um I like that jump, the high jump, dude. Just like all the just like the abilities that it gives to Mario.

Luke:

Like it's pooping edge in um Smash Bros.

Alex:

where you poop in the middle of an egg. That's pretty accurate. For sure. But then there's the straight up cuteness, though, dude. He's a dinosaur, but he's like the cutest little dinosaur. He does it for me. I wish I have so many memes, dude. It's like a regret of mine. Not a real regret, because like if I really wanted to, I'd just go and buy it. But like I don't have the the woolly or like whatever the the yarn Yoshi. And that thing is do you have that one?

Luke:

You know, I did. I don't know if I still do. Um between the dog and moving.

Alex:

Yep, yep. That one's tight though. I like that one. It's a little bit bigger, it's like fun. I kind of wish I had. I didn't have like the base either.

Luke:

It's just like, yeah. Um, Yoshi was my first cutoff. I I crossed his name off and put DK. And honestly.

Alex:

Dude, you were gonna name your children you Yoshi.

Luke:

Yeah, I did want to name. When there was just believed to be one child, I was fighting pretty hard to have it named Yoshi. Um I did not win that argument, and I was never gonna. Yeah, yeah. At the end of the day, Yoshi's just mad, cute, and fun to play with, but like no good sounds too. Like kicking out cute, fun sounds great sounds, but like not much of a main character, no personality, because it's like a dog. It's like a dinosaur. That's probably why I like them though. Dogs are dope. Love me a dog. Love me a dog. But I think if I had to pick a five, it would have been Wario and not Yoshi still. Which is crazy because I used to probably main Yoshi and Mario Kart was like probably one of my first mains as a child. Like you'd fight for Yoshi as a little kid. And I do love the different colors of Yoshi. Lots of fun. The next movie is clearly gonna be pretty Yoshi heavy, so that's exciting. Right on.

Alex:

Well, I got number two. What do you got for you wanna do you got any additional uh I don't know, mentions you want to spit out before you do one?

Luke:

Yeah, King Bombom has a uh really cool mustache. It reminds me of Uncle Greg. So uh that just needs to be mentioned. Uh but that's it. Boo is fine. Uh I don't know what the deal I haven't played the Galaxy games, I guess, so I don't know what the deal with Rosselina is. I definitely don't know what the deal with Pauline is. Um she's just a lady, just an Italian lady.

Alex:

She'd be singing real nice though.

Luke:

I guess.

Alex:

Or is that is that a different character?

Luke:

That's definitely Pauline Odyssey. And I'm just like, alright, just uh New York Italian singing lady, alright, in her dress. I had a student in Minecraft club who was uh um trying to think of his disability, but he was very obsessed with Pauline, and like when you when he thought you were looking away, he'd Google Pauline and take like little screenshots and like zoom in on her face, but definitely just her titties a bunch. And uh so funny. I won't say the kid's name. We're just gonna say like it's Steve, and it's like, hey Steve, what you doing over there?

Alex:

And he'd be like, nothing.

Luke:

Let's get off those pictures of Pauline, dude. It was really, really funny, dude. It got a little weird once or twice, but it was mostly cute and hilarious. That's amazing. Uh yeah, okay, yeah. Um, number one though. Oh, you have like your four honorable mentions.

Alex:

I have the two categories of honorable mentions. Uh, main character energy, Toad. So Captain Toad as well. Uh he was on the right on the cusp. I was like, you know, a solid character, kind of an annoying voice, but whatever you gotta do. Yeah, it's uh that's also part of his charm. Uh Diddy Kong, I spoke to Diddy Kong a little bit earlier. That was an honorable mention of mine. Peach, another honorable mention. Uh, I like Peach, dude. Like, I like playing with her in the games and stuff. I'm glad she finally got her own mainline game. I haven't played it, unfortunately. I haven't heard too much about it, to be honest. I haven't been tapped into it too heavily. I did hear it's like okay, but I don't think it's like for the, you know, I'm a grown-ass man. I don't think it was made for for grown ass men, you know. I heard it was made for theater kids. I think that's all right, though. That's cool.

Luke:

Um didn't mean it as a burn, like, literally seems very theater kid heavy. Yeah.

Alex:

Word, word. There's things about Peach that like I don't know why she liked two time in Bowser and Mario though. Like that kind of I'm I'm a little confused at what's going on in that situation. What game would that be? Do you like Mario Odyssey?

Luke:

Like she's pretty not about being kidnapped. She just, you know, wasn't just gonna be Mario's reward. She's her own woman, you know. So I'm the fairest. I would get it.

Alex:

You would give her some more points then. My my knocks against Peach are not against Peach. It's against Nintendo.

Luke:

Yeah.

Alex:

I'd just say like new Peach 2.

Luke:

And new Peach. But she's been cool to play with ever since like Mario 2. So that's worth mentioning.

Alex:

Agreed. Agreed 100%. But the float. I got a laundry list of baddies that like are all cool, but because they don't have like main character energy, and they're just like, you know, I was like, I don't know if I can have these crack the list. Uh, but I'm gonna start with bullet bill. The huge dope ass dude, big big ass bullet man, and it's dope. Where's chain chomp? Bullet dogs, dude. Where's Chainchomp at, dude? Chainchomp is on my list. Like Chainchomp, I've got Bullet Bill, Birdo, you know, Birdo.

Luke:

Oh, yeah. I was gonna put Birdo in and do some weird sex jokes, so that's a missed opportunity.

Alex:

That's on me. Bullet Bill, I gotta put over dude. Bullet bill, Bullabill's honor mentionable, honorable mention for the fact that it's just a cool baddie. And then two my birdo joke. So it's a cool baddie. Uh, and then he's also like when you're really getting fucking hosed in uh Mario Kart and you get the you get the bullet bill upgrade and you can just shoot back. Dude, solid. Uh Birdo, back to Birto. We watched it and like the Birdo joke. I like that. That's funny to me. Um, but Birto's too Birto's tight for like a few reasons, but like there was something that I have like in my in uh playing Super Mario, or not super, yeah, playing Mario Bros. 2 or whatever for the NES. When you get to Birto, it's not like a difficult character or anything, but it was like that game is just so weird and different, and it happens pretty quickly where you where the Birto's like shooting out the eggs, and you gotta jump on the egg, shoot it back. There's just something about that, it's just like a weird thing. And as a kid, I was like, this is this is crazy.

Luke:

It was also added weird details like Birto's like genderless and asexual, so like what the fuck's going on there? Like Nintendo's like, I don't know, man. Uh they shoot their own eggs and they hatch from the eggs. Just it's Birdo. Like Birdo's just like someone was allowed to cook and think of the goofiest thing, and that Birdo came out.

Alex:

Indeed. Boo. Boo's another one on my left, my honorable mentioned list, another baddie. Uh, all the booze, really, but King Boo be the baddest boo, I guess. Got the crown. Uh, Chain Chomp, also on my list. Uh, the big the big dog chain chopper thing also has a big book.

Luke:

Racial slur mushrooms, though. Come on, dude.

Alex:

Dude, Koopas on my list, too. The Koomas are like, I don't know, man. It's an iconic baddie. Like, and hammer bros. I got hammer bros on the list. Fucking hated those tough. Dude, tough. They're a tough baddie, and they look kind of cool.

Luke:

Turtle with hammer. Pretty cool idea.

Alex:

And then the last one kind of vanilla. Last one kind of vanilla, but just a Koopa. Okay. Again, little turtles. Uh, but still, like Koopas are, I don't know. You got other things. You got the skeleton Koopas, you got like a whole bunch of other stuff, but they're not on my honorable mention list after that.

Luke:

All right, so now it's time. I got a cape for my boy uh as low five Luigi um as the man, the second place, or not second place, but second player. Uh Luigi is king. I am so disrespected by you putting him at number five. I'm I am irate. I swear you just did that to upset me.

Alex:

I did it because I knew it'd be funny if I put it at five, but it also made sense. Uh and I'm favorite at three.

Luke:

Um so first off, has his own distinction from Mario. Green is a cooler color than red. Tall versus short. But his jumping thing is cool. In the games, I like to play with them, but his standalone games are more consistent than Treasure Tracker, obviously, because there's more of them. But Luigi's Mansion, one of the most gorgeous games on the Switch, and like legit really cool environmental game, but like just super cool. And the whole cowardly thing is just kind of the funny goofy sort of three. Yeah. He's brave. He always comes through, he just doesn't want to. He's just a big scaredy cat put in the most ridiculous situations possible. And then as the comedic foil, I think he's just tops. Uh if you've played any of the RPG games, uh specifically Thousand Year Door, he's like always off on his own side adventures, and he's always like, Oh my god, dude, you wouldn't believe what I've been getting into. And he's like one step ahead slash behind you the whole time, like just getting into trouble, and it's just like hilarious comedic foil. So uh he's cute, he's funny, his own games have fucking slap. And he's just the he's the twin brother. I have twins, but he's also like Loki, the little brother, second player, doesn't mind, just wants to gas up his big bro. Um Luigi's just an awesome dude, it's the best. I got respect for Luigi. I have a Luigi tattoo on my inner thigh. Nice. My balls kind of hit it. What if I did have that and I just never told you? I mean cool.

Alex:

It's a choice.

Luke:

It's a choice.

Alex:

All right. My number one, bro. I got that Luigi Love, but he came in at five. My number one goes to my boy Bowser.

Luke:

Yeah.

Alex:

You knew it was coming. Why didn't you speak to it? Like Bowser's king. King Bowser, man.

Luke:

Is there anything I didn't mention that you're just like, man, you're not even putting respect on Bowser's name right now?

Alex:

He's just like this, he's just like the perfect baddie, you know, because he's not he's like bad, but he's not evil. You know, he's like he's kind of author to Mario's side. Like he's in this, I mean, that kind of depends on the scenario, I guess. But depends how you feel about fucking genocide. Fair enough. Fair enough. But uh in in terms of the Mario universe, though, you know, he's like, uh, I like well early, you know, I've been mentioning I like to play my I like to main heavies and things like Smash. Uh I'll even mess with Bowser and Kart, even though I usually go for more of like a middleweight character. But he's gonna be fun once you start, once you start getting that speed up. Bowser's like, dude, he's just he's the man. Like he's uh he's Mario's number one number one enemy. Dude, the Jack Black, like Jack Black like elevated the shit out of Bowser as well. Like I was already into Bowser. Like you brought you brought up via some of the other characters just how fun he is in like in the in like the Mario RPGs, the paper Mario's. Like he's just like this, especially the paper Mario's dude. Like, I really like his presence in the paper Mario. He's like kind of like this, I don't know, no, it's just like a whiny whiny brat. Yeah, it's pretty funny. Yeah, it's just funny.

Luke:

Uh his outfit in Mario Golf, dude, Guy Fieti Bowser.

Alex:

Dude, killer. Uh huge fan of that. He's my main in Mario Golf for sure. Um, he's also good at Mario tennis, dude. So it's uh it's Bowser. King Bowser, dude. He's also got a mess of kids. I think that's hilarious. At least one you say, but I don't know. I think all those other ones might be his children as well.

Luke:

Fair.

Alex:

And he I will say the one knocking as Bowser, he's still he's still a king, he's still number one, but he he does need to lay off peach a little bit. Like clearly not working out for him. He's a little obsessive. Yeah, he's like, come on, bro. But I would I would say too that like I already was into I was already into Bowser. And I think with the Mario movie, dude, Jack Black, like I've always been a fan of Jack Black too, and like he's like become such this big thing that like it's borderline, like you feel a little hipster, you're like, I don't like Jack Black because he's too cool. But it's like nah dude, the dude's just too cool. Never wavered on my love for Jack Black. Same, same. So, but I mean that's what I'm saying. But he's gotten so big, especially with the Minecraft movie now. But people find that annoying.

Luke:

I'm here for that energy. Yeah, it's sometimes people need to be annoying for the kids.

Alex:

Yeah, I'm I I can dig it, dude. I think he's a great Bowser. I look forward to him continuing to do Bowser, hopefully. But yeah, Bowser. He's the next one. Jack Black?

Luke:

Oh god. He could be that old drunk guy. For sure.

Alex:

Let's list, man. So I've got I've got my number, my number five, Luigi, four, Wario, DK, Yoshi, Bowser.

Luke:

DK Peach Bowser, Captain Toad, Luigi. Nice. My king. Right on.

Alex:

I can dig it. Now what we gotta do is we gotta get that mess of, we gotta like set up a super smash tournament and have the computers just play each other with our with our pools and see who wins. So I bet there's no toad. Oh, yeah, that's right. I guess you I guess you're at a handicap, bro.

Luke:

Yeah, I know.

Alex:

I'll have to have two Luigi's. Well, cool. That's a fun list, man. Let's take a little break. You fuck with crystals, dude? No, not at all. Hate them. Hate him? Oh, dude, you're gonna hate this then. Because this month we are unofficially brought to you in part by Crystals.

Luke:

This guy goes to California and he comes back at Crystal Bro. What's happening, dude? Dude, I'm for sure. Goes to Joshua Tree and he comes back and he's like, Have you heard about crystals, brother? What's happening here?

Alex:

100%. Dude, I recently not exactly. I wouldn't say it's because of Joshua Tree, but I was like, I went down the rabbit hole. One of my buddies is really into a certain like stone crystal thing. I've never, I never nah, it's a different dude in Tom. Multiple friends, I could assume would be into crystals continuing. But, anyways, uh, but he talks about this certain like crystal or like you know, it's called uh Moldavite, I believe. And then you know, if for those listening, you can look it up if you want, but Moldavite like basically has this energy to it that's supposed to be really like life shifting, but it becomes it has like a duality to it. So like good things can come from Moldavite, and it can be really like uh like crazy upheaval. Kind of, bro, kind of so, but here's the deal though, is like really bad things can happen like because of this energy as well. So that's like I just don't want to do like I'm not like a crit I'm not like falling on the crystal like woo-woo stuff, but like here's the deal. I grew up Catholic, so like you know, like I obviously believe in the hope for mid questioner. Finally, you're gonna talk to me about fucking crystals. But like kinda. I don't have any multivites, so I bring up multivite because it has this like it has this potential for like this upheaval that it can cause like to be negative. And like I don't I'm not here for that, dude. Like, I don't want to bring anything into my house that could potentially bring negative energy to my life. Like, that's the exact opposite of what I'm looking for. But I've been getting back into, and maybe the true say unstation sponsor of this should be meditation and journaling. But that's not fun. Why couldn't I? But that's that's not fun at all. I've been trying to do daily journals and trying to meditate. It's been really great for my like my mental health and like just kind of like getting um I don't know, my my work day going and just getting like kind of on track and like in a in a good, you know, in a good like creative space, right? And a good just like good workflow. Uh, but here's the deal like I'm also like I'll relate this slightly to video games. You're not gonna catch me out here having a bunch of fun times buying a bunch of digital games. Yes, I buy digital games, of course. I got a whole mess of them, but I prefer to have you know a shelf with all my Switch games on it. I prefer to buy physical. So I've been kind of bummed when I hear about like all these third-party Nintendo Switch 2 games coming with their physical copy and just being like basically download keys. Uh that's just whack. Neither here nor there because we are not being unsanctioned sponsored by Nintendo. But uh, they don't have to budget, dude. Haven't you heard? Yeah. What's that? They don't have to budget, dude. Haven't you heard? To to to uh to sponsor us, unsanged sponsor us, yeah.

Luke:

Just making fun of them for charging insane amounts and then not even physical games anymore for their clearly dedicated stupid fanboy base. I bought all these physical games on the Switch, so they would have had me, but if I get a Switch 2, I'm going all digital.

Alex:

Ah, word. Yeah, I will I'll do first party physical still. As long as the game as long as there's a download on it. What? Even if it's just a code, I'm not gonna do it. Yeah, but uh but that's neither here nor there, because I want to talk to you about Citrine, dude. So I've got my I got myself some citrine, which is a crystal.

Luke:

Do you have a second follow-up crystal mention?

Alex:

Yeah, dude. The reason that I wanted to get the reason I brought up Moldavite is to tell you how I like started the rabbit hole of thinking about this stuff. Because and the reason I bring up the physical stuff is because I've been doing this meditating and I've been doing the journaling. The meditating thing could be a little like it it it bugs me sometimes because I'm like, what? I'm just like breathing and like I don't know, and I I get that's part of it, it's part of the practice. Chaotic of a brain or something, maybe it's been getting better, it's a thing that you gotta do over time. It's just practice or whatever, you know. For sure. But like to give myself intention, I was like, well, it might be nice to have something physical that I can like give myself intention to this meditation, hence the crystals, right? I wanted to bring some of that, uh I wanted to start to channel some of that energy into a physical aspect, hence the crystals, right? So like I found citrine, and citrine's cool because it has all that positive energy that that is like, yeah, dude, I don't know if this woo-woo shit works, but I'm cool with having some citrine in my room in my office, and like moldabite kind of scares me a little bit.

Luke:

I mean all those powerful uh entities, you know.

Alex:

Indeed. So, like, but sit, but citrine is cool, man, because it like it it brings it's supposed to bring abundance, it's supposed to bring creativity, it's supposed to do all these things. And I'm like, here's the deal I didn't like buy citrine and expect to like have all this shit just happen. Like, that's not my that's not how this thing works.

Luke:

Drinking on pasteurized raw milk too, my dude.

Alex:

It's cool, but it's for sure. But what I like about it is like it gives me a physical manifestation of what I'm trying to project into my meditation, right? So with the whole idea with why I'm meditating is like, okay, I want to like be better about my creative work, I want to be more like better about procrastination, I want to be better about these things, uh, which is fine. But now I have like a little physical reminder because I got a little citrine on my ledge that like charges in the sun, because that's important too. But dude, so I'd be so you know, but uh and then I can hold it too. I can hold it when I meditate, and it gives me I'm able to uh I'm able to uh asking for a friend, dude. Just maybe you probably find some crystals for that. But I'm not here for that, dude. I'm not here for the full on crystal game. I'm just here for like if it has a woo-woo side effects, like if whatever it's got a little magic to it, like cool. Like that's a nice little byproduct. Uh, but for me, it gives me a physical, and that's why I brought up the video game thing, you know, because I'm just the type of person that likes to have like that physical presence of something. Uh, and then for this, like adding it to my meditation, it's nice because it's been able to uh give me a little bit of uh like uh more intention to my meditation or whatever and more direction. So, and you know, if all of a sudden like I become the most creative, powerful uh but man of abundance in the world, it's probably because of the citrine on my windowsill. Wow, I've you know you've leveled up. I bet you didn't expect that. That was a hard sponsor to bring in. Nope. But uh, you know, that took some here for it, here for it. Okay, not taking any of their money because they're they're you know, it's a rock, but what are you gonna do? The rock makes a lot of money. I mean the wrestler, dude. Yeah, it's bad.

Luke:

You're talking about crystals. I can't give you dad jokes. You sure can. Fuck not. All right, crystal meth brought to you by Crystal Math. All right. Hell's only crystal.

Alex:

You've been side questioned, bro?

Luke:

Yeah, just the chronicles of one particularly not great gamer playing Elden Ring. And I think right after we last talked, I wouldn't call it a breakthrough. I just realized how like playing with uh summons works, and have just now immersed myself in the great debate between the sweatiest community of all time, and that's saying something I've been a part of, or at least lurked in a lot of sweaty communities, but online speaking. Uh you can get summons, and so many people are like so puritanical about summons, and then specifically within summons, you can have a mimic. It's uh you summon yourself, it's a mimic of you, right? Oh wow, okay. And then you level them up. So there's this uh dual uh gargoyle boss fight that was just this biggest roadblock for me for the longest time. Like I almost quit the game because I like went to three different areas and I kept hitting these different roadblocks, and I was so frustrated. I like gave it a few days, I came back, I got through the other stuff, but I could not beat the um gargoyles. And one, they're a bitch, two, they're a bitch, three, there's two of them, and it's just so annoying. And they're like super aggro, they have this wide area poison attack. Uh trust me, I found every piece of literature talking about how shitty this fight is, because I was just sad and I was looking it up trying to figure out how to do it. And long story short, is that I'm like a Dex arcane bleed build, which is whatever, right? It's a playstyle, but that's really bad against these guys, so I made it like extra tough. And I did the mimic and I just like wiped the floor with them. And I told my homie at school, who's my little eighth-grade nerd, who tells me how to do stuff, and we talk about the game, and it's almost like he learned that his heroes are all garbage when I told him I used a mimic. He was so bummed. Oh no, it was hilarious. And I was like, what, dude? So like that's just it was just ended up being fun to argue about. And then I saw like all these arguments online afterwards about like I wasn't looking for it, it's just you know, sometimes when something's been brought to your turn you know you start to see it more, you know. But I saw I saw people arguing about it and they're like, the game is built with these, therefore the game is technically balanced for you to use the summons. And they're like, if you refuse to use the things the games give you, you were playing on a modified difficulty, and then people get all mad about that. So uh it's the weirdest game ever. I think I'm very solidly I'm gonna give it a I'm gonna cheat. I'm gonna give it a nine point five or a four point or seven five if you like to use your five scale. Because I love it. I think about it a lot. I've had some of the coolest encounters and the coolest enemies and some of the coolest fights and the coolest feelings. But a game you can't pause needs to be dinged somewhere. No quest log or anything to keep track of what the hell's going on ever without using the internet forty times. It just needs to be dinged somehow. So small stupid shit like that stacks up to me. But other than that, dude, like the legacy dungeons and the environmental, like just like vibes of that game are so cool. Like the art's crazy and the different things you run into all the time. I like frequently dork out about how cool something is. So uh it's taking me forever. I would have beaten most other games, but this game's just hard as balls, and I can't play it for too many hours in a row because it just gets too frustrating. Sure. But then I'm thinking it's pretty cool that uh I picked up Doom Eternal. And that is a nice little palette cleanser. Uh I wouldn't call it easy. And I'm sure as I get into the game, maybe I'll run into a roadblock and it won't be a fun trades off sees vibe because that'll just turn difficult on me. But for right now, I just like run and gun and listening to Mezzle music, just ripping demons apart, dude. Right on.

Alex:

Doom is cool. I guess I'm not surprised. I'm I'm glad, I guess, that you are continuing your Elden Ring journey. I've I've fallen off. I haven't I haven't gotten back. That's so good, dude. It's like Zelda.

Luke:

I keep coming back to that. It's like Zelda, it's like some of the best stuff of Zelda and Skyrim put together, and a lot of the stuff I don't like about those games taken away and then its own weird Elden Ringy shit. Or I should say from softy shit kind of thrown in there. So it's sick, dude.

Alex:

Yeah, I've just I've just fallen off like I'm in a I'm in a weird gaming rut almost. It's like uh the it's really hard for me to to go full full sand on anything that like commands that kind of time.

Luke:

Yeah, I've been watching TV shows and reading books and stuff, so it's been a little bit of a little bit of and then NBA playoffs for both of us as far as like if you only got so many times to video game.

Alex:

And a good vibe, but you get the point. Yeah, NBA playoffs have been a uh major side quest for me this past month. Uh I've been all in, obviously, on the Timberwolves watching all those games. I've even watched a handful of like the uh the Nick Celtic series, uh like catching some of the Pacers Cavaliers, which um I mean it won't be a spoiler to anybody listening to this on the 15th, but they just won the series. The uh the Pacers did.

Luke:

Oh, just now?

Alex:

Yep, so they just went up four or one.

Luke:

Oh, okay.

Alex:

Uh over the Cavaliers, which is a bit of an upset, but you know, that happens. It's the NBA. It's also the playoffs, you know, for those that are keyed in, the injuries too. Yeah, I know a lot of people are upset. And I'm I mean, I'm upset too that Steph got hurt first game against the Timberwolves. But um, I don't know. You look through history, dude, and that happens. Uh it's it's not it's not ideal. Um, sounds like uh uh you know, for the Celtics, Tatum pulled uh or his Tor is Achilles, which is which is not great.

Luke:

I think that's not the worst injury in sports to this day.

Alex:

Dude, it's he's gonna be down and up for a long time. That's a bummer, a big setback for the careers back in the day. Dude, for sure. Not anybody, but it did. So he'll be out for probably a good chunk of the beginning of the season, I bet, if not the whole season next year.

Luke:

He'll be out all next year. Yeah, it's a year-long deal. Yeah, that's tough, dude.

Alex:

Um they got a good team. Otherwise, like, I mean, like, but he is kind of I mean, he is he's a big deal with for them. But uh it's crazy, dude.

Luke:

Like, they don't know how much their team's gonna cost together as currently constructed next year. Sure, if you know. 500 million dollars, so that'll be a different team next year. Word. That's insane. That's the highest. That is wild. Yeah, with the luxury tax and all that, they're a $500 million team next year, so they will be different.

Alex:

Yeah, they probably could uh justify that if they got another chip, but I don't doesn't look like that's gonna happen. I think the Knicks are gonna pull ahead. I mean, they already have up 3-1. They will. Yeah. Uh, but it's been fun, dude. The Timberwolves been scrappy. Um, it's always you know how it goes. You're you're a fan as well, so it's like it's always uh very anxiety inducing. Like, what's going on? Why are you playing so sloppy? What have we been doing?

Luke:

Especially the golden era of Timberwolves basketball. Metrically speaking, we've only won two other playoff series ever before last year. So it combined this year and last year. That's the longest successful streak of all time that we've ever had. So this is truly the golden era of 30-ish years of Timberwolves basketball. This is it, Doc.

Alex:

It's fun. A lot of people getting on the ant train, dude. Uh, he's such a fun character to like to watch play. And then it's like his his personality is just like it's it's it's wild, dude. And it's like it's I'm so glad that he did the Olympics last year, dude, because I think that's what put him over the top. Like it definitely pushed him to become a three-point shooter, hanging out with Steph, hanging out with LeBron. Even when they lost to uh when LeBron lost to uh the Timberwolves, LeBron and Luke and everybody else, low Lakers, I guess. Uh, you know, LeBron comes up and he was like, take the next, you know, bring it to the next level, dude. He's like they all the all the old heads like want to see this, or all the like players, the OGs, like want to see this boy succeed, and that's exciting, especially as a as a Minnesota fan.

Luke:

How do you think the NBA feels about their potentials for the finals being Denver, Minnesota, Oklahoma City, Indianapolis? Dude, hilarious. Before the Cleveland getting knocked out, but that just adds to it, yeah, Cleveland. So it's like uh you, especially if the Knicks don't make it, you will hear people complaining about the finals not being entertaining because people don't like the big cities. But if you like ball, these are all cool teams.

Alex:

Dude, 100%. Uh I'm into it, dude. All those Midwest teams, I love it. I mean, we're from the Midwest, so there's that. But um, you know, that's a lot of basketball to be watching. I I key in pretty hard on the Timberwolves games, but some of those other, like some of the other stuff, like I'll I'll go in and out. Um, and I'm playing a lot of Mario Golf on the 3Dth golf games, dude. Golf games have been fun because I tried to do like a couple RPGs, like I was uh because I was really like had a good run on Final Fantasy for a while. I was doing Pokemon. I've talked about those on the pod. Uh those are still fun to fire up and like edge up a little bit more or whatever. But dude, the golf games are great. I've been playing uh hotshots, like hotshots golf on the PSP, uh Super Mario Golf on the the 3DS, and it's just so nice to do a little handheld golf because it's it's you can just like you know, commercial, which like does it.

Luke:

Arcade style golf is unmatched in video games. It's so it's great, yeah.

Alex:

It's great. I love that you're not like on a timer or anything either. So, like, you know, you you take your shot, like the game comes back on, you just set it down, pick it back up when uh when you know either a slow part of the game or um or if you're on a commercial break or some shit, just like it's been a nice companion. Hell yeah. You should play some slay the spire. Slay would be good too. That's not a bad idea. I did think about that the other day. That's another one, uh, another good pickup and and play while you're watching some other stuff. Otherwise, dude, just been like, you know, it's uh it's basically, I mean, it's still officially spraying, but summertime, feeling like summertime here in Mini, doing yard work, hanging out in the backyard and stuff's great. You know, just being a dad, dude. Um uh Elton's at an age now where it's just like, I mean, it's always fun, but um, he's got his personality, he's running around doing his stuff, and it's just like it's it's a cool, cool pocket to be in, dude. It's funny.

Luke:

I'm definitely living my old man life these days, you know, like fucking yard work, watching basketball, hanging out with my kid, like just man that returns to his den to cluh to look at his basketball trading card shrine.

Alex:

Oh, dude, I got that shit too. I got the I got my Tim World shrine for the playoffs rocket. I like picked out a bunch of that, I got the whole lineup, dude. I showed you that video, I got the whole the whole lineup.

Luke:

Elton, you must not touch these cards, they are not for play.

Alex:

Get out of here.

Luke:

You're the Lego dad, dude. You're the Lego movie dad.

Alex:

Look out of here. Elton's like he's like 19, 18 months old. Like, of course he's not gonna be messing with my cards. Uh someday we'll do it. Oh, I didn't even say this during the Mario stuff, but yeah, Elton says Mario. Mario. He goes, Mario, or whatever. It's so funny, he sighs real hard. But he's got uh he's got some like Mario, like he's got like a Mario Kart pajamas. He gets he knows him, dude. And I've got like Amoebas out, and he'll come into my office and he'll like point at the Dr. Mario and be like, Mario. That's what it's like.

Luke:

Mario's a good recognizable character for kids. Uh, have you watched Coobie with him?

Alex:

That was like the first movie the boys ever watched. We we haven't. He watches a lot of Toy Story. Um, when we do watch a movie, it's usually one of the Toy Story movies. We started the Mario movie, but because it like it like has kind of an intense beginning scene, it's not like super intense as an adult. Murder. My boy Bowser coming in strong, you know, taking over that castle. So so my wife he was like, just too violent, we gotta stop. And I'm like, oh whatever. Yeah, just watch Toy Story. It'll be all right. It's a it's okay. You gotta pick your battles, you know what I'm saying? No doubt. No doubt. So it's like whatever, we'll just do something else. It's fine. But yeah, no, he has not, he has not yet, so I'm excited to to watch that with him. I'm trying to think of them. No, there's some other games in side quests I've done a little little spurts here and there.

Luke:

Yeah, Star Wars Outlaws, probably at least an hour or. There, yeah.

Alex:

Ah, that's true. I I did get a nice chunk of outlaws in, dude. Uh and that's a cool game, man. I didn't like totally pay attention to the discourse on like why people are shitting on it so much. But I had uh, like I was telling you, like at the beginning of of uh side quest here, I've been in like a bit of a gaming rut. Uh just like nothing really like had its hooks in me. And then uh, you know, I've been tinkering and playing around with like my PS3 and like some retro stuff and have a lot in my Wii and stuff, like was really having a fun time dabbling just in old games. And I fired up, I think it was Brotherhood um for the PS3. And like, dude, there's something about that.

Luke:

Yeah, okay.

Alex:

Yeah, um, there's just something about that old format of Assassin's Creed that it was like, I was like, this is tight. This is really like I'm enjoying this quite a bit. But then, like a couple nights, you know, I got it a good, you know, like a couple hours into that, and then a couple nights later, I was like, Well, I got Mirage. Why don't I like check out Mirage again now that I've had a little bit of this flavor? So I started messing around with Mirage, and I was having a good time with it, but it wasn't like it was like, you know, I think um it didn't like have its hooks in me, like I didn't really care where the story was going with Mirage, if that makes sense. Yeah, but then I got and then uh you know I got my deco deals thing set up, and uh, all of a sudden Star Wars Outlaws went on a super sale for like 20 bucks or something. I was like, I'm gonna send it finally. So I got it. Physical copy, dude. First time I bought a physical copy of anything, the disc was corrupt. I mean, the physical I buy physical all the time. First time I've ever bought physical and it didn't work.

Luke:

For which game?

Alex:

Outlaws. So I bought outlaws because it went on super sale. Yeah, but um that's weird. I know I'm kind of all over the place because uh what I'm driving towards here that's I ended up returning it and getting another copy, but I put it in and I was playing it, and I was like, dude, this is like Assassin Creed Star Wars. This is kind of dope.

Luke:

What I heard was it was really cool is like the environments, like there's like like someone pointed to like a furry wall, which like just like the textures and the level of care, like that's pretty kind of 70s techno aesthetic or whatever they call it, 70s space aesthetic is is cool. So that interested me, but running around Baghdad, dude, and Assassin's Creed Mirage. Next time I see you, you should bring that over. If you don't plan on playing, I might give it a stab.

Alex:

Um I don't care. I just want to do a historical murder uh simulator. Fair enough. That's kind of what the Star Wars thing is, too. And then I started playing that, and then the playoffs started heating up a little bit, so I was like, all right. I guess I'm not doing all my game, I'll be playing some golf.

Luke:

I feel that.

Alex:

Slay this. But uh try her out. I I know Slay, but it's watching the rotation. Yeah, I can't wait for the second one to come out. Right on. Well, this has been a fun one, man. Fun to do the first low five top five. Solid the list audio, solid side question. Thanks y'all for listening. Go Louis next time.

Luke:

Woohoo! Woohoo. It's Mario, which you get the bet.

Head Shot

Alex

Host
Head Shot

Luke

Host